Why 8 is Great

 

Mel Robbins recently posted a video with her three truths about personal change.  To achieve it, you have to be:

1. Frustrated enough to say "no more"
2. Brave enough to expect more from yourself and others
3. Disciplined enough to do the hard work

When I kicked off this blog in April, I was transparent about the state of my physical health and walking in to LA Fitness with my tail between my legs.  I was dead serious.

Mel Robbins was right.  This post is about discipline and dedicated to that journey, the trainer who got me where I am today, and the unexpected leadership lesson - "8 is great" - I learned along the way.

Has anyone seen Athlete Denise?

I've been an athlete all my life.  Started softball, learned to water ski at age 7; collegiate and competitive volleyball player until my late 20s; dabbled in short distance triathlons into my early 40s; active swimmer, hiker, casual cyclist. When I turned 50 I could still take my lab Ali out for a 2-3 mile jog without much effort.  When I changed jobs in 2018 and my 15 minute one-way commute became 2 hours, it all changed.  If anyone wonders why people aren't rushing back into offices 5 days a week post-COVID, this is one big reason:  we're not willing to sacrifice or complicate our personal health and wellness for even more sedentary time on trains and subways.  We've proven we don't need to.  But I digress...

When I started personal training, the biggest hurdle I had to overcome was my own sense of disappointment.  I couldn't run those 3 miles without being seriously winded.  I'd lost strength and flexibility.  I couldn't look in the mirror and see Athlete Denise anywhere.  The gap between the internal mindset and external physical reality was wide and emotionally overwhelming.  It had to change and I knew it would be hard. Following Mel's 3 truths, I was owning my frustration, I cobbled together enough bravery to manage my bruised ego, and I placed my trust and accountability in the hands of my poor trainer who had no idea he was inheriting such a head case.  

Somebody's got to do the work.

Demetrius is my trainer and boxing coach.  We've worked together now for over a year.  It's not my first time hiring a personal trainer, but the first time I've actually stuck with one.  What's the secret ingredient?  He has great EQ and IQ.  I never feel like I'm getting some generic program, and after the last 4 months of what we've just pulled off I can guarantee that's not the case.  

Much like we do in business, when we hire a consultant to help us get somewhere we can't go on our own, we want someone we can trust; nimble, intuitive, supportive, good at tough love.  Not sure how I got so lucky, but I landed an ace.  Anytime I waffled about cardio or upping a weight, Demetrius would say "somebody's got to do the work" and now when I'm working out solo, that's the line that keeps me going.  Little motivation hacks sprinkled with a few "atta girls" when I needed them.  It worked.

The first 6 months were a reset.  The biggest challenge was my own self-confidence.  It's one thing to tell yourself the changes would take time to see.  It's another thing to keep that perspective when you're not quite a full size smaller and you need to buy a new cocktail dress.  We focused on other small wins: upping a weight, increasing cardio time or difficulty.  Other signs the needle was actually moving.

The next 6 months the right next gears started kicking in.  I focused even more on my diet; we added more structure and small goals.  I started boxing which I love until we hit sparring which mentally I can't wrap my head around, so boxing became more cardio and self-defense.  Don't expect to see me in the ring anytime soon LOL.  Everything was moving in the right direction and Athlete Denise was re-emerging.

No backsliding allowed.

By early 2023 I was in a great fitness grove. When I made the decision to move and spend 3.5 months abroad, one of my biggest concerns was backsliding.  I didn't want to plateau, and I certainly didn't want to risk setbacks.  If one of my sabbatical goals was returning a fitter, healthier me I knew I needed structure and accountability.

Train from anywhere?

When I researched AirBnBs, one criterion was being less than a mile from a gym that offered short-term memberships.  They all had their own personal training packages, but I wasn't interested.  I had a great trainer I fully trusted, why would I want to roll the dice on new people I'd only work with for a few days?

I have no idea what gave me the notion I could continue personal training in 4 other countries and 3 time zones while I was on the road, but when I floated the idea by Demetrius he was game.   We took our gig on the road.  I listed out the countries, found the gyms, tallied the number of days I could train, and Demetrius started mapping out my training programs.   We steered clear of exercises that required spotting and leaned into ones I was most familiar with.  He reviewed the gym web sites to get a sense of what we had to work with; when I arrived in each city, I sent more video clips and pictures to close the gaps.  

I received batches of workouts with instructions, links to demo videos, target weights and reps, target effort.  As much info and guidance as possible; basically everything in advance I was used to getting real time in the gym.  I tracked my actual performance and sent it back with notes and questions.  Before my workout the next day, I'd have feedback, modifications or thumbs-up (I still need those atta-girls every once in awhile).  The time zone difference mostly worked in our favor!

All in all, we pulled it off.  I spent the equivalent of a full month (31 days) and about 70 hours in four gyms in four cities:  Buzios, Toulouse, Lyon, Prague. In addition, I clocked 2 weeks of field work, 8 days of hiking, and over 880,000 steps.   Athlete Denise is back.  And she bought the smaller cocktail dress. 😉

Bonus: why 8 is great.

During training sessions, especially in the early months, Demetrius typically asks "on a scale of 1-10, where are you with the weight?"  It's the easiest, fastest way to adjust the weights and reps for my strength and goals.  

One day I asked if there was an optimal number I should be aiming for.  The answer was No, but he shared this gem of a response I've hung on to.  He said "there's no uniform number but mostly I want you at an 8." He explained that an 8 is a good stretch target; last few reps a little challenging but not straining.  We don't want to be at a 10. With the exception of a big race or competition, that's not a sustainable performance level and our bodies typically need to dial it way back to a 3-4 to recover.  So an 8 is a great stretch target and in a month, today's 8 will feel like a 5 or 6 and that's real progress.

Ah-ha moment?  I should be using this with my teams!   Imagine if our 1:1 meetings started with that question:  on a scale of 1 to 10, where are you?  Here's why I love it:

• Like personal training, it's an individual gauge.  No two muscles, no two employees work the same. 
• It's easier for managers and employees to align on performance expectations, including what a 10 looks like and how to prevent sustained strain.  
• It's more dynamic;  as employees stretch and learn, if they're at a 9 they may need more help or time; conversely if they're at a 5 they may be ready for a new challenge sooner.

It was a total gem, a bonus bit of wisdom he had no idea he contributed, and I am absolutely putting it into practice in my next role.

Below are some fun pics and outtakes from our virtual training tour.  I am beyond thrilled with the results and endlessly grateful for my trusted coach.  If you're in the NYC metro area and looking for a personal trainer, to say that "I know a guy" would be an understatement.  DM me and I'll hook you up!

Below: a few screen grabs of my workouts and tackling adjustments via WhatsApp.  It was simple, accessible, not WiFi dependent.  I was able to manage everything from my phone.

 

Buzios and SmartFit Brazil was tiny, steamy, but you can't beat the views of the bay from the cardio equipment.  The gym was sometimes so packed, people did floor work between cardio machines: crazy! They had the best on-line, multi-lingual customer service (and fun creative to match!)

Fitness Park in Toulouse was the easiest in terms of prep.  This was one in a small chain of urban fitness centers and they had the best membership packages and training options.  They also had infrastructure for virtual training; they made it easy for clients to take their local trainers on the road.  I was jealous!

L'Appart Fitness in Lyon was our favorite: spacious, lots of equipment, almost exactly like LA Fitness.  Below is one of the videos I sent to Demetrius the afternoon I arrived; this was the typical process.  All the gyms understood what I was doing and permitted filming as long as I was quick and discrete.  

Here's the video clip.  I tried hard not to look or sound like a stalker!

The rooftop space was fun.  It was even more fun when the mid 30s Frenchman did his barbell core workout here, but you're going to have to call me for that story 😉

Prague was the most challenging city.  We couldn't see much from the R5 Fitness Center web site ahead of time.  When I arrived, my amateur eye took a quick glance and thought "holy hell this is going to be a mess."  Thus why you hire an expert!  It worked out fine, also had lovely outdoor space and I got to see a few boxing sessions while I was working out which was a bonus.  Enjoy the video clip and my color commentary LOL.